For the past 15 hours or so, my judgment’s been clouded by unpleasant emotions. Emotions far too great for my control.

No amount of meditation nor self-healing tarot could make up for the bothersome energy that was surrounding my presence. It was dull and suffocating. And what’s worse is, it’s mine.

My energy is tapped and rippled black by a known force. Someone who have long lost control over me — retaking its place and in that presence, comes those people should not be able to tap into the energy I posses. Not even get a taste of what’s leaking from it.

For the last couple of months, I did whatever I can to stay grounded and go back to myself — a version of me so free, uncontrolled, vibrant.

Why does this so called “attachment” paint my vibrant garden a loudly saturated color with ominous presence? Why am I scared? To get too close, fall to pieces and get shattered for the second time?

That’s not it. Why am I even doubting myself? Why am I thinking about all of the things I am feeling or why am I thinking that something’s wrong with me?

I’ve experienced this so-called “love” once. It was a beautiful shade of gold and red. It was sunny where it needs to be and shares its moonlight during the darkest nights. It’s patient, forgiving, sometimes gray — but never black.

Would it ever unmask its loudly saturated color and ominous presence and turn into the shades of gold and red I onced loved and called home?

I know on thing’s for sure: It takes two energies to mesh into each other and dance in synchronicity. But everything’s far too loud… for now.

I guess, this is a reminder to protect your energy from people and stay grounded. Share it with people who are in the same wavelength as you. Always keep your boundaries high. The worthy ones will go the distance.